Creating a Garden for Migratory Grief

Visualizing a hidden immigrant experience

“… y en el espacio que él ocupaba en su memoria dejó que floreciera una pradera de amapolas.” —GGM, El amor en los tiempos del cólera

This post was in part inspired by the Substack newsletter “El ingenio migrante” by psychologist

Carlos Rodríguez

and his passion for merging literature and narrative into his migration research, as well as my own past and ongoing research on the subject.

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There are certain things that are hard to put into words and this has been one of those experiences. Like many, as a child I would often write and illustrate silly narratives about animals whose stories, nevertheless, mirrored personal trials of loss and conflict. However, as I have gotten older and started writing for others in school and now on occasion for work, more and more I have found it increasingly difficult to write about and understand my own experiences.¹

This is what sociologists Ruth Van Reken and the late David Pollock might have called a “hidden immigrant” experience and, in my case, an invisible process of reverse culture shock and re-acculturation upon returning back to one’s country after an extended period of time; and a common experience of third culture kids, a term meant to serve as a metaphor for the experience of growing up “in-between” worlds (with the ‘third culture’ bit symbolizing the ‘in-between’ part of the metaphor).

But, here, I’d also like to expand on this as a metaphor for the similarly invisible experience of migratory stress and grief² that many will face before, during and after they migrate, a term I learnt as a part of the Health and Migration project; used by psychiatrist Joseba Achotegui to describe the process of adapting to a new culture. This process is said to affect our lives in many different ways as we deal with an (often) unforeseen series of losses and changes—from leaving behind family and friends, to learning a new language—that I have simplified to the five areas of stress down below.

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Five Forms of Belonging and Migratory Stress

• Relationships with family and friends

• Expression through language and culture

• A geographic connexion to climate and landscape

• Belonging to an ethnic group or social status

• A personal sense of safety and security³

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Then there’s migratory intelligence (or resilience,⁴ as I previously knew it) a term used to describe the “resolution” part of the story, in which, for me, a variety of arts and interests have always played an ongoing role—from drawing, to music and writing, to hiking and photography—with a special emphasis on the word ongoing, as it doesn’t mean our obstacles will disappear, but that we can develop a wider net of resources from which to help us stay afloat.

Similar to artistic expression, in the article “In the face of death, destruction and displacement, beauty plays a vital role in Gaza,” researchers Stephanie Acker and Dr. Devora Neumark⁵ write about the important role that beautifying and decorating plays in refugees’ overall mental wellness and sense of security. “Many refugees experience trauma. All experience loss […] Simple acts—rearranging a home, sweeping the floor or intentionally placing an object—allow refugees to infuse an area with their own identity and taste. They provide a way to cope when one has little control over anything else.”

A little further down, she continues, “Ultimately, making a space feel more comfortable, secure and personalized is a tangible expression of hope for a future.” A powerful tool to create and preserve a sense of belonging, identity and culture, especially amongst experiences of xenophobia, including racism or sexism; as locals frequently try to place you in unfamiliar, and many times, harmful social constructs alienating to the ones you know.

1. Or, more accurately, this experience in relation to others

2. Also known as migratory mourning, it is also said to affect any loved ones and family left behind

3. Including health risks, physical safety and experiences of abuse or discrimination

(Edit added Sept. 1st, 2024)

4. The unconscious inspiration behind A Colorful Resistance

5. This article was co-authored by Stephanie Acker and Dr. Devora Neumark. Although Dr. Neumark was not affiliated with an authorized institution at the time of publication and, therefore, their contributions were not credited as per the policy of The Conversation, their input was integral to the research and writing of this article.

(Edit added Aug. 28th, 2024)